Chicken Boobs

Mom, can I save my boob for later?  Cuz it's a really big boob!"

Trysten asking to save his piece of chicken for later.

Poof

And like that... he was five.  *sigh*  Only one more week.

Someone, anyone, I need a time machine. Stat!

Princess Who?

Last night after dinner the boys wanted some of their Halloween candy for dessert.  The deal is, as long as they eat all of their dinner, then they can have a piece of candy.  Trysten’s choice last night was a mini box of purple Nerds.

Ever the efficient one, I sat him down at the dinner table with his treat to keep him occupied so that I would be free to head to the bathroom to assist Caden in getting all set up for bath time.  I should have known better than to leave a four-year-old alone with candy, because on my way out of the bathroom, I noticed a creepy dwarf-like figure hanging out in my room with the lights out.  And low and behold, no Trysten at the table.

Obviously something was up, because the kid only goes in my room if he’s A) wanting to wrestle on the bed, B) looking for me (which he clearly was not), or C) up to no good.  My mommy instinct was screaming C.

Me:  Hey, what are you doing in my room?
TJ: (looking surprised and hiding something behind his back) Oh nothing, mommy.  Just… hanging out.
Me:  Uh huh, right.  You have three seconds to tell me what you’re doing in here.  Three… two…
TJ:  (holding up one of his small purple Nerds) OK, I was just trying to hide this under your bed! 
Me:  Um, why would you want to hide your candy under my bed?  You know that food and candy stays in the kitchen, dude.
TJ:  Well I already put a pea under there a few days ago.  So now I was trying to put this—

Wait, what?  Did he just say he put a pea under my bed?  Where the hell did he get peas?  I HATE peas!  The only food I’ve made in the last week with any form of peas in it was a couple of days ago.  So if what he just said held any truth at all, that meant I have had a little pea rotting under my bed for the last couple of days.  At this point my head is spinning.  Remember that post the other night about bed-bug paranoia?  If so, you can probably guess that this is right about when the big neon sign in my mind lit up with the words “WELCOME TO HELL.”

Me:  You put a PEA under my bed?  Are you kidding right now or are you serious?
TJ:  (grinning from ear to ear and stating rather proudly) Yeah, I put it under there the other night mom.
Me:  (trying keep the Hulk-like Crazy Mom from rearing her ugly head)  Show me.
TJ:  (prancing over to the side of my bed, still with the grin)  I think right here, mommy.  Right in there.

He pointed to a spot between the mattress and box spring, so I lifted the mattress and pushed it over.  And there it was - a lonely, dried, shriveled, green little pea that he had somehow wedged between the mattress and box spring and left for God only knows why.  Upon seeing this little pea, I only recall two things crossing my mind: OMG thank you there are no bed bugs! and WHY THE F—- is there a pea under my mattress?!

Me:  (still trying desperately to keep my cool) Trysten, what on EARTH would possess you to put a pea under my mattress?  Since when do you put FOOD under mommy’s mattress?  What the heck, dude?

He looked up at me with his little pouty face and puppy-dog eyes and said quietly “Well mommy, I just wanted to see if you were a princess.”  Then bashfully looked down at the floor before flashing me the eyes again.

And then it clicked.  The Princess and the Pea. Right now your heart is probably breaking while you shame me silently in your mind, right?  How do I know?  Because that is exactly what was happening to me.
So, being completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to say, I just stared at him blankly while I tried to come up with something to possibly redeem myself.  Just then I watched as a small smile started working its way across his lips.  I laughed at him and said “you’re so silly!  you little goof!” and he laughed  back at me.  “OK, come on.  Let’s go finish your candy.  And no more putting food under mommy’s mattress, OK?” I said as I took his hand and we headed out the door.  “OK, mom,” he said back.

Talk about feeling like a real jerk, though.  The poor kid just wanted to reassure himself that mommy really IS a beautiful princess, and all I did was secure myself the title of Wicked Witch.

Inner Self:  Way to go, mommy.  Halloween was over two days ago, so how about you put the attitude away with the costume, mmmkay?
Me:  Deal.

Halloween Love

OK, I know I’m a little late on the Halloween Wagon.  And I know I tend to bombard you with posts one day, and then not post at all the next (I really need to learn to use the que, or at least learn how not get so excited about my posts that I can wait to share with you). But, it does get pretty busy around here being a single mama to two little terrorists.  (OK, who am I kidding?  Fable III came out and I spent the better part of my free time this weekend getting some serious game on.  I’m sorry.  I still love you tumblies - I just kind of love Fable III more right now. But trust me, just like BSB, it’s only a phase).

HOWEVER because of my lack of posting over the weekend, I am treating you with an extra post tonight with all of the Halloween greatness I’m sure you’ve been dying to see!!  What makes it so special you might ask?  Well, two magical things, friends - Darth Vader & Zombies.

Wait for it… Wait for it…

BOOM!  This is just one reason why having boys is AWESOME.



And I just decided to throw these in for good measure, cuz that’s how I roll.  And they are not oranges, they are pumpkins, damn it.  Pumpkins dressed up as oranges for Halloween.  Umm…yeah.  That’s it.

(Delicious icing care of TheSahmmy - thank you, it really is THE BEST EVER!)

He Was A Confused Child

"Cheese!!  Like my new helmet mom?"

Um, Trysten, we need to talk.

He Likes To Move It Move It

My boys are best friends for life.  There isn’t much that if one of them is into, the other isn’t.  They’re like little twinsies, joined at the hip, partners in virtually everything.  The little one even looks up to his older brother (who is only a little over a year older) and wants to be a part of everything he does.  He’s almost lost without his older brother when CJ leaves for school, and sits and mopes around waiting like a little puppy whose owner is away at work all day.

However, the one big difference between them already has to be their taste in music.  Caden loves almost anything pop, and I’ll catch him singing Lady Gaga, Linkin Park, Big Time Rush, Chris Brown, etc.  He likes anything with a fast pace and a beat he can dance to.  One of these days, I’ll have to show you his awesome break dancing moves (which, now that I think of it, are strangely similar to his Kung-Fu moves).

But the little one is completely different.  He surprises me every time I turn the iPod on with his random requests for songs he’s heard once, or ones that I’ll skip through thinking he won’t like them (because I know his brother doesn’t).  Having heard just a few opening lines from a new song, they will either both cry “change it, change it!”  Or, more often than not, Caden will be in the back saying “Mom, this song sucks.  Will you please change it?” (he is totally anti-change and if he had it his way, we’d listen to Bieber and Big Time Rush all day every day - oh, and the song by Linkin Park from the movie Transfomers which he knows every word to) but Trysten argues, “no leave it!”  The way he is building his own musical taste makes me proud, especially because what he picks is not-so-mainstream (at least, not anymore), and the fact that I love jammin’ to the tunes he picks helps, too.  If I had to pick songs for a playlist that just he and I could sit and jam to,  I’m sure it would look something like this:

• Paradise City - Guns ‘N’ Roses
• Renegades of Funk - RATM (it only took once for him to hear it and now he asks for it almost every time we get in the car)
• White Wedding - Billy Idol (he heard this song one time in the car, then went into my grandma’s house and asked her to play the “Hey Little Sister” song.  She had to call me and ask what he was talking about.  They then spent the next hour watching Billy Idol vids on youtube.  He’s a fan for life now.)
• My Best Friend’s Girl - The Cars (again, only took one time.  He sings the chorus like “she’s my best best girl” and tells me it’s about me… awwww!)
• Seven Nation Army - The White Stripes
• Rock & Roll, Hoochie Koo - Rick Derringer (heard the first half of this song and got mad when I changed it at Caden’s request)
• Let’s Stay Together - Al Green (another one he got mad about when Caden asked to change it)
• New Divide - Linkin Park
• Don’t Touch Me - Brak (Cartoon Network, Cartoon Planet/Spaceghost)
• I Like To Move It - Hans Zimmer (Madagascar 2 Soundtrack)
• Rock That Body - Black Eyed Peas
• Crazy Frog - Axel F
• Sexy Chick - Akon
• Alejandro - Lady GaGa
• The Look - Roxette (don’t hate, you know you love it too)
  
• Heartbreaker - Pat Benatar
• Otherside - RHCP
• Heads Will Roll - Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) - C&C Music Factory
• Uprising - Muse

So there you have it.  My rockin’ little four year old.  Obviously there are tunes that EVERY little kid wants on their play list (that Crazy Frog is musical crack for kids), but some of them just surprise the hell out of me.  His favorites are mostly songs he’s heard once, rather than the ones he hears over and over again on the radio or in the car.  I just love it.  I love that he loves the music - my music.  Makes my heart happy.

Oh, and for anyone who thinks I should still be shoving strictly Kids Bop, Disney Sing Along Songs, and nursery rhymes down my kids’ throats, and not letting them listen to that kind of music, all I have to say is this:

Cram it up your cramhole, Lafleur.

Pasta Police

TJ:  MOM! Where is the pasta you said we were gonna have?!?!

CJ:  Yeah mom! You said we were gonna have pasta with our pork chops!!!

Me:  Oh crud. I'm sorry guys. I forgot to make it tonight. I'll make it tomorrow night, k? I promise.

TJ:  Mom, you better, or ELSE.

Me:  Or else what silly?

TJ:  Or else when we grow up, we're gonna move somewhere really far, FAR away from you.

CJ:  Yeah, like Texas.

TJ:  Yeah mom, if you don't make us pasta tomorrow, we're moving to TEXAS.

Me:  Alright, alright. Jeez you guys. I said I would make the pasta already, what more do you want from me?

TJ:  Can we have a sucker?

Me:  Um, No. Eat your dinner.

CJ:  Texas here we come.

First Halloween

Our first Halloween with all three of us together.  The boys were “Dinosaur Hunters” and I tugged them around in their 4-Wheel Drive Camo Wagon (that wagon is a beast, by the way - its like the Gravedigger of Radio Flyers).

Sleeping Beauties

Don’t be shocked to see some random baby pics over the next few weeks as I reminisce and cry about how little my boys once were (and how old I’m getting).  My littlest is gonna be 5 in the next month.  It was not so long ago he was my cute, chunky, cuddly little monkey.

I think if I had one wish, it would be for my boys to be babies again for just a day (on totally separate days, though - not trying to kill myself here).  Just to hold close and cuddle up, smell their fuzzy baby hair and get my fill of baby hugs.  I miss those days…

Weekend Overview

WHEW!  I didn’t lose any followers due to lack of posting… thanks for hangin’ in there guys!
I had one of the busiest, most productive weekends I’ve had in a long time (well, with regard to domestication and gettin’ my Betty Crocker on).  I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, but I have to document all of the awesomeness because it NEVER happens.  Most of my weekends lately have been spent lazing around, watching movies and catching up on weekly TV shows, and rekindling my relationship with the couch.

Friday night the boys wanted to spend the night at my grandma’s, so I took the opportunity for some quiet time and hung out with my fave friends Dexter, Callie, and Charlotte.  I also made some awesome home-made crock-pot potato soup, which I’ve never made but actually turned out so well that it was gone by Sunday and I had to make another batch to have for dinner sometime this week.  Yay for successful new recipes and for planning ahead!

Saturday I got up and shampooed the carpets.  Nothing really fun or spectacular about that, although I did notice that instead of the carpets feeling much fresher and softer as I had expected, they feel a little more matted and starchier.  Whats up with that?  I thought it was supposed to be a whole rejuvenating experience for the carpets, like when I take a shower - I know I always feel fresher and softer, so what gives?  Me and my high expectations.

After that I went and did a butt-ton of grocery, decoration, and craft shopping.  I most likely overdid it on the budget (haven’t looked - too scared), but I know I got a lot of the supplies I need to be able to get to a few projects I’ve had in mind for a while now.  Plus I got what I needed to make some more salsa, and, for some reason, salsa has been making me happy lately.

So after the salsa was done cookin’, I sent some home with my mama for her Halloween Party, and went and picked up the boys from grams.  They were kind of reluctant to go, which, who wouldn’t be when you get the run of the house, all kinds of candy and sweets, and cartoons available pretty much all day?  It’s like a little kids dream there. So, it took a little bribing on my part, but they came home and were ready to decorate the house.  We made some spooky hanging ghosts out of cheese-cloth and some foam balls I had leftover from a Christmas Snowman craft I did a couple of years ago, and they turned out pretty cute.  They drew on eyes and mouths with sharpies and we hung them in the living room.  We put up the cob-webs, lights, jack-o-lamp and other random scaries.  The living room looks really cute, and when its dark and the lights are lit, the ambiance in the room is incredibly tranquil and relaxing.  Since the most prominent colors of Halloween are orange and black, everything gives off this wonderful amber glow.  I tried I tried to take pictures and capture it for you guys, but my camera is pretty lame (or it could be operator error, but I prefer to blame the camera).  I may still try to borrow my mom’s camera and get in some shots to upload before Halloween, though.

After decorations were up, the boys chilled out and watched “The Rescuers,” because I love Disney movies and am exposing them to the pre-pixar era.  Plus we just read the read-along book from a set that came with - get this - TAPES that I had when I was a kid.  Don’t have the tapes anymore, but we still enjoy the books together.  So having only read the shortened book version of the story, they were pretty stoked to finally watch the cartoon.  And “The Rescuers” - talk about a story that makes me want to adopt 50 more kids.  I’ve given some serious thought to fostering, but have come to the conclusion that while the kids are so young, and it’s just me with them, it probably isn’t the best idea.  I think they really need all the time that I have, and the time they don’t occupy, I need for myself.  Plus I don’t really have the space for it.  But any movie about orphans or stories about kids needing a good home always makes me reconsider my decision.  I’m sure that I will foster and/or adopt eventually, it’s just hard to be patient when I know there are so many that need what I could provide. Anyway, I’m getting completely off track here, so, back to the weekend -

Sunday morning the boys let me sleep in until 9.  This was truly appreciated for a couple of reasons:  1) the boys never let me sleep in.  As soon as they are up, they are in my room asking me a million questions, or screaming like banshees through the house over the blaring cartoons and I’m begging please just let mommy sleep a little longer… please…I’ll give you anything you want… which is usually just for me to turn the XBox on, let them play my iPod, or get them cereal; and 2)  I had gone to bed late Saturday, but for some reason was wide awake at 5:30, which is WAY TOO EARLY FOR A WEEKEND!  So I did a little laundry before going back to bed around 7, and the extra couple of hours they let me sleep was G-R-E-A-T.  When I woke up, I was certain I’d find messes all over, the Halloween candy gone, or some other form of mayhem that ensues only when it’s that quiet that would cause me to regret sleeping in, but, to my surprise, they were both just sitting in their rooms, watching cartoons and being quiet.  When they saw me up, they both sprang up and declared “Mom, you’re awake!  Mommy’s up! Yay! Mom’s up!”  It was so sweet and I was so happy with them, I couldn’t say no when they asked for a piece of the Halloween candy.  I know, candy before breakfast - sue me.  To my credit though, I did then go make them an awesome breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, and OJ as requested.  It was a good morning, and the day went just as well.

After breakfast, we all sat down together and played a new video game for a couple hours.  Some may criticize this, but I don’t care.  I love these times with the kids.  They love playing, and love that I can play with them.  I remember being a kid when my grandma used to play Super Mario 3 with us on the NES, it was just the bees-knees.  Or when we could actually convince our technology challenged (and that’s being nice) dad to play the original Mario.  Those memories are so fond to me because my family was participating with me in the things I enjoyed.  Just as fond as the times we all sat around the table playing Yahtzee, or Scrabble or Monopoly, or when we’d all play volleyball, badminton, or tag, or just throw a ball around.  I don’t think that video games really take anything from your kid, and playing with them will make memories just as fond as any not involving a TV and a controller.  So we played, and once we were done, I relinquished my control and let them have run of the XBox for a while.  The deal is no gaming during the weekday (except the learning games on the iPod), so on weekends like this one where we’re hanging out inside, I pretty much let them go to town on the games.  It’s kind of their reward for sticking to the schedule all week, getting all their homework done and on time, being good in and out of class, etc.

While they were playing, I did some more crafting, made caramel-candy apples and prepped the NACHOS for dinner!  I love nachos, and I was looking for an excuse to use my homemade pico, so this was perfect.  Then they took a break for a while for some quiet time in their rooms to play or read, and I cleaned up the kitchen.  When their break was over, we carved another pumpkin, played the game a little longer, and they took their baths.  Once dinner was done, it was time for stories and bed, and I was ready!  I went to bed at the same time they did last night.

All in all, though, it was a really great weekend.  I got a lot of things done that I wanted to do, had fun doing it, and spent some great time with the boys.  Who can ask for more?!

Where's Me Rum?

Me:  Hey, do you guys know what today is?!

CJ:  Friday?

TJ:  Talk like an official pirate day?!

Me:  Um, Friday - yes. Pirate day - what the...? You've been hangin' with gramma too much.

TJ:   Arrrgh.

Score One For The Little Guy

Every morning when I drop the little one off at his gram’s, before I’m on my way to work, we have a little goodbye routine.

Once I pull up to the house, I say “OK babe, we’re here.”  He then gets out and walks to the driver’s side door, which I’ve typically already opened in anticipation of my hugs and kisses,  and every morning, before the hugs and kisses, he has to get in a good stretch once he’s out of the car.

This morning, while he was in the middle of his stretch, groaning and yawning with his arms reaching to the sky and wrangled with that mid-stretch-face, I noticed his little belly exposed in the gap between his pants and the bottom of his shirt -  and as anyone knows, an exposed belly is automatic grounds for tickling. So, I did what anyone in that situation would do and seized the opportunity.  He giggled and I laughed, and he looked at me with his “you-better-not-do-it-again-but-I-really-want-you-to-do-it-again-because-I-like-to-be-tickled-even-though-I-will-never-admit-it” face while raising his hands quickly.  Naturally I responded with my “I’m-gonna-get-you-because-I-know-you-love-it-even-though-you-pretend-not-to” face as I moved my hands toward his tummy.  He laughed as he jerked his hands down and shielded his belly with his arms.

Now, I imagine this tickly-interruption of his stretch and yawn must have been somewhat frustrating (even though he was laughing) because he then turned around, walked about ten feet away from me, raised his arms, and brought them back down as quickly as they went up.  Still buckled and obviously outwitted, I sat and waited for him to finish his stretch and walk back to me.

He was grinning from ear to ear on the way back and I automatically thought he was just happy to finish his stretch and hug me.  But as he leaned in to put his arms around me, he looked me in the eye and with a little weave of his neck said, “How you like me now?!”

I couldn’t do anything but laugh and grab him up for my hugs and kisses.

There’s no better way to start the day than with laughter, tickles, hugs, kisses, and giggles.

A Little Louder Please

TJ:  (playing and talking to the GB in his room)  Bowser, don’t go!  I won’t let you do it Bowser!  It’s too dangerous out there.
TJ:  Bowser, it’s me Mario!  I’ll save you!
CJ:  (from the other room finishing up his homework)  Trysten, Bowser can’t hear you.
(silence…)
TJ:  (yells) BOWSER DON’T GO! I WON’T LET YOU DO IT!!!  IT’S TOO DANGEROUS OUT THERE!!

Revenge of the Lasagna Zombie

Hey mom, great lasagna!  Love you!

Hey Caden!  Love you too!

Oh no!  Caden, look out!

It's a flesh-eating Zombie Trysten!

Pumpkin Alter Egos

They may look sweet and innocent, but the truth is hiding in the background!

Sharing Is Caring

Out Of Luck

CJ:  Say I'm luckier than you!

TJ:  Never!!

CJ:  Say it or I won't let you up!

TJ:  I'll never say it!

CJ:  Say I'm luckier than you or I'm staying on top of you!

TJ:  I'm luckier than you.

CJ:  No, say I'M luckier than YOU.

TJ:  I'M luckier than YOU.

CJ:  No that's not what I mean Trysten. Say "you're luckier than me."

TJ:  I'm luckier than you.

CJ:  Hey, that's not what I mean! Say "you're luckier than me, Caden."

TJ:  I'm luckier than you, Caden.

CJ:  No fair Trysten! Mom, Trysten won't say I'm luckier than him!

TJ:  Caden, you'll never be luckier than me.

Monster See, Monster Do

For some, being entertaining seems to come more naturally than it does for others.  Being fresh to this whole blogging thing, I have found it a little more difficult than I had originally anticipated to get what I’m thinking out there in a way that is as funny, witty, and entertaining as it appears in my head.  And I have to say, I’m a little jealous of my kids when it comes to this ability.  For them, it seems entertainment, whether finding or creating it, is a cakewalk.  For my kids, funny seems to just come naturally.  They are hilarious - and not just because I’m their mom and I think that they eat rainbows and poop butterflies - but because they really are just funny, and the kicker is that they don’t even know it.

For example, I’m in the kitchen making dinner one night and my four-year-old rushes in and stops in front of me all like, “Hey mom, check out THESE babies!” As I turn to look, I see him rotate his arms downward and flex in serious muscle-man fashion, then lift each arm to his mouth, one by one, and KISS his biceps!  KISS HIS FREAKING BICEPS!  Then he runs off and I just stand there, laughing and shaking my head as I ask myself “What just happened? Was that my kid? He’s FOUR YEARS OLD, where the crap did he get that from?”

And though I can usually count on the little one always being a character, his brother definitely has his moments, too.  One day they were both playing some imaginary game that involved light sabers, kung-fu moves, live-action sound effects, and the couch as a spring board (which is something I’m not too incredibly thrilled about and is the source of repeated time-outs - but we will save the couch kung-fu for another time).  On this particular day, CJ had the brilliant idea that part of his kung-fu mastery display would involve a running leap onto the couch, followed by a full somersault roll over the chaise lounge and back onto his feet.  Only, it didn’t quite go as planned.  Instead, he ran toward the couch, jumped up and landed on his knees, bounced off of the cushion and over the side of the chaise lounge, and landed flat on his butt on the floor.  Before I could even ask him if he was alright, he leapt up off of the floor and announced “I’m OK!  It’s alright, I’m OK!”

Of course I just sat there and laughed.

When I ask myself why it’s so much easier for them to be so funny, the only answer I can come up with is sheer lack of inhibition.  They are so far away from caring what anyone else is thinking, doing, feeling, or saying that they’re just free to do and laugh at what they feel is funny, and say whatever is on their minds. Now, I know I’m not the first person on the planet that has ever made this connection (in fact I’m pretty sure it was this same basic concept that led to the development of Wacko Jacko’s Neverland Ranch), but what I’m essentially saying here is maybe it isn’t such a bad thing to act like a kid sometimes - to throw the confines of every day responsibilities and the realities of your life away for a moment, embrace a little immaturity, laugh at the silly things and just be happy to be.

I know I’m no philosopher and I have no degree, but it seems to just make sense to me.  Especially lately as I’m struggling with my own take on the world and where I am in my life.  Like a lot of people that have made personal sacrifices to raise kids, I’m still juggling that age-old question about what and who I want to be when I grow up.  Part of me is content with the pieces I already have in place (I always wanted to be a mommy), but another part of me longs to do so much more with my life.  I guess what it essentially comes down to is this: do I want to be the kind of person that takes themselves and everything else so seriously in order to achieve my goals, that I make it virtually impossible to enjoy the small things that surround me every day?  I know that I don’t.  And I think it’s in these times of questioning and self-doubt, what I really need most is to be able to laugh and let go - and there really isn’t anyone I know who is better at laughing and letting go than my monsters.

So, even though I am the one that is supposed to be leading by example and molding and shaping them into the functioning adults they’re meant to be, I find that, from time to time, I am actually looking to them as the examples as they mold and shape me.

Meet Patches

Today I’d like to introduce you to my youngest son, Patches.  Patches normally goes by the name TJ, is four years old (soon to be five), and wants to be famous.  So today, in an honest effort to achieve his goal, he decided it would be an exceptional idea to cut his own hair.  When asked why, he stated he wanted to look “famous” and “fancy like grandpa” (who is half bald, by the way).   This is the amazing look he came up with, which I like to call the “Dino Egg” cut.



I think it’ll be a hit.  Soon, four-year-olds everywhere will be dying for this look.

Umm, yeah.

Makes me really happy that I just paid to get his hair cut last week, though.  Next time I’m just handing him scissors and letting him go to town.  I bet it’ll be even fancier then.