Truth

Each of my boys had complications with their births requiring slightly extended stays for both them and me. Caden was upside down with the cord around his neck (breach & born blue), and Trysten was pushing his way into this world so hard through mommy’s half-dilated cervix, his little heart rate dropped and they had to take him via emergency c-section before he killed himself trying to tear through me. It’s almost comical the way each of their births are such a symbolic representation of their individual personalities. Caden, the over dramatic, extremely sensitive, emotional “blue” one, and Trysten, the stubborn, determined, emotionally explosive independent little terrorist.

For each of them, we stayed for five days and it really wasn’t so bad. The birthing center of our local hospital is one of the best around. I had a huge room all to myself, a jacuzzi tub, TV, a day bed/couch for visitors, and, once the baby was out of ICU, they got to stay in the room with the family/parents as opposed to a large baby viewing room with a bunch of other newborns. Even the food wasn’t so bad.

However, the one thing I remember absolutely hating was the crappy hospital gowns. There were two options on gowns: the ass-bearing standard, or the breast-feeding-friendly boob-bearer, and I hated them both equally.

So, my grandma, being as awesome and intuitive as she is, went and got me three long pastel nightgowns covered in flowers that unbuttoned from the neck to below the boobs — aka granny gowns — complete with matching zip-up robes. And I will tell you, I LOVED my granny gowns! They completely covered my ass, and because of the button front, I could whip out a boob when needed and put it away discreetly when not — all without worrying something would fall out and give random family members a sneak peek of my naughty bits if I moved wrong.

And, for the truth part of this whole story: It’s been almost five years since I’ve been in a hospital and those gowns are still my favorite pajama of choice.

But hey, if nothing else, at least I can say they work great as a backup to birth control, right?