Princess Who?

Last night after dinner the boys wanted some of their Halloween candy for dessert.  The deal is, as long as they eat all of their dinner, then they can have a piece of candy.  Trysten’s choice last night was a mini box of purple Nerds.

Ever the efficient one, I sat him down at the dinner table with his treat to keep him occupied so that I would be free to head to the bathroom to assist Caden in getting all set up for bath time.  I should have known better than to leave a four-year-old alone with candy, because on my way out of the bathroom, I noticed a creepy dwarf-like figure hanging out in my room with the lights out.  And low and behold, no Trysten at the table.

Obviously something was up, because the kid only goes in my room if he’s A) wanting to wrestle on the bed, B) looking for me (which he clearly was not), or C) up to no good.  My mommy instinct was screaming C.

Me:  Hey, what are you doing in my room?
TJ: (looking surprised and hiding something behind his back) Oh nothing, mommy.  Just… hanging out.
Me:  Uh huh, right.  You have three seconds to tell me what you’re doing in here.  Three… two…
TJ:  (holding up one of his small purple Nerds) OK, I was just trying to hide this under your bed! 
Me:  Um, why would you want to hide your candy under my bed?  You know that food and candy stays in the kitchen, dude.
TJ:  Well I already put a pea under there a few days ago.  So now I was trying to put this—

Wait, what?  Did he just say he put a pea under my bed?  Where the hell did he get peas?  I HATE peas!  The only food I’ve made in the last week with any form of peas in it was a couple of days ago.  So if what he just said held any truth at all, that meant I have had a little pea rotting under my bed for the last couple of days.  At this point my head is spinning.  Remember that post the other night about bed-bug paranoia?  If so, you can probably guess that this is right about when the big neon sign in my mind lit up with the words “WELCOME TO HELL.”

Me:  You put a PEA under my bed?  Are you kidding right now or are you serious?
TJ:  (grinning from ear to ear and stating rather proudly) Yeah, I put it under there the other night mom.
Me:  (trying keep the Hulk-like Crazy Mom from rearing her ugly head)  Show me.
TJ:  (prancing over to the side of my bed, still with the grin)  I think right here, mommy.  Right in there.

He pointed to a spot between the mattress and box spring, so I lifted the mattress and pushed it over.  And there it was - a lonely, dried, shriveled, green little pea that he had somehow wedged between the mattress and box spring and left for God only knows why.  Upon seeing this little pea, I only recall two things crossing my mind: OMG thank you there are no bed bugs! and WHY THE F—- is there a pea under my mattress?!

Me:  (still trying desperately to keep my cool) Trysten, what on EARTH would possess you to put a pea under my mattress?  Since when do you put FOOD under mommy’s mattress?  What the heck, dude?

He looked up at me with his little pouty face and puppy-dog eyes and said quietly “Well mommy, I just wanted to see if you were a princess.”  Then bashfully looked down at the floor before flashing me the eyes again.

And then it clicked.  The Princess and the Pea. Right now your heart is probably breaking while you shame me silently in your mind, right?  How do I know?  Because that is exactly what was happening to me.
So, being completely dumbfounded and not knowing what to say, I just stared at him blankly while I tried to come up with something to possibly redeem myself.  Just then I watched as a small smile started working its way across his lips.  I laughed at him and said “you’re so silly!  you little goof!” and he laughed  back at me.  “OK, come on.  Let’s go finish your candy.  And no more putting food under mommy’s mattress, OK?” I said as I took his hand and we headed out the door.  “OK, mom,” he said back.

Talk about feeling like a real jerk, though.  The poor kid just wanted to reassure himself that mommy really IS a beautiful princess, and all I did was secure myself the title of Wicked Witch.

Inner Self:  Way to go, mommy.  Halloween was over two days ago, so how about you put the attitude away with the costume, mmmkay?
Me:  Deal.

Weekend Overview

WHEW!  I didn’t lose any followers due to lack of posting… thanks for hangin’ in there guys!
I had one of the busiest, most productive weekends I’ve had in a long time (well, with regard to domestication and gettin’ my Betty Crocker on).  I apologize in advance for the lengthy post, but I have to document all of the awesomeness because it NEVER happens.  Most of my weekends lately have been spent lazing around, watching movies and catching up on weekly TV shows, and rekindling my relationship with the couch.

Friday night the boys wanted to spend the night at my grandma’s, so I took the opportunity for some quiet time and hung out with my fave friends Dexter, Callie, and Charlotte.  I also made some awesome home-made crock-pot potato soup, which I’ve never made but actually turned out so well that it was gone by Sunday and I had to make another batch to have for dinner sometime this week.  Yay for successful new recipes and for planning ahead!

Saturday I got up and shampooed the carpets.  Nothing really fun or spectacular about that, although I did notice that instead of the carpets feeling much fresher and softer as I had expected, they feel a little more matted and starchier.  Whats up with that?  I thought it was supposed to be a whole rejuvenating experience for the carpets, like when I take a shower - I know I always feel fresher and softer, so what gives?  Me and my high expectations.

After that I went and did a butt-ton of grocery, decoration, and craft shopping.  I most likely overdid it on the budget (haven’t looked - too scared), but I know I got a lot of the supplies I need to be able to get to a few projects I’ve had in mind for a while now.  Plus I got what I needed to make some more salsa, and, for some reason, salsa has been making me happy lately.

So after the salsa was done cookin’, I sent some home with my mama for her Halloween Party, and went and picked up the boys from grams.  They were kind of reluctant to go, which, who wouldn’t be when you get the run of the house, all kinds of candy and sweets, and cartoons available pretty much all day?  It’s like a little kids dream there. So, it took a little bribing on my part, but they came home and were ready to decorate the house.  We made some spooky hanging ghosts out of cheese-cloth and some foam balls I had leftover from a Christmas Snowman craft I did a couple of years ago, and they turned out pretty cute.  They drew on eyes and mouths with sharpies and we hung them in the living room.  We put up the cob-webs, lights, jack-o-lamp and other random scaries.  The living room looks really cute, and when its dark and the lights are lit, the ambiance in the room is incredibly tranquil and relaxing.  Since the most prominent colors of Halloween are orange and black, everything gives off this wonderful amber glow.  I tried I tried to take pictures and capture it for you guys, but my camera is pretty lame (or it could be operator error, but I prefer to blame the camera).  I may still try to borrow my mom’s camera and get in some shots to upload before Halloween, though.

After decorations were up, the boys chilled out and watched “The Rescuers,” because I love Disney movies and am exposing them to the pre-pixar era.  Plus we just read the read-along book from a set that came with - get this - TAPES that I had when I was a kid.  Don’t have the tapes anymore, but we still enjoy the books together.  So having only read the shortened book version of the story, they were pretty stoked to finally watch the cartoon.  And “The Rescuers” - talk about a story that makes me want to adopt 50 more kids.  I’ve given some serious thought to fostering, but have come to the conclusion that while the kids are so young, and it’s just me with them, it probably isn’t the best idea.  I think they really need all the time that I have, and the time they don’t occupy, I need for myself.  Plus I don’t really have the space for it.  But any movie about orphans or stories about kids needing a good home always makes me reconsider my decision.  I’m sure that I will foster and/or adopt eventually, it’s just hard to be patient when I know there are so many that need what I could provide. Anyway, I’m getting completely off track here, so, back to the weekend -

Sunday morning the boys let me sleep in until 9.  This was truly appreciated for a couple of reasons:  1) the boys never let me sleep in.  As soon as they are up, they are in my room asking me a million questions, or screaming like banshees through the house over the blaring cartoons and I’m begging please just let mommy sleep a little longer… please…I’ll give you anything you want… which is usually just for me to turn the XBox on, let them play my iPod, or get them cereal; and 2)  I had gone to bed late Saturday, but for some reason was wide awake at 5:30, which is WAY TOO EARLY FOR A WEEKEND!  So I did a little laundry before going back to bed around 7, and the extra couple of hours they let me sleep was G-R-E-A-T.  When I woke up, I was certain I’d find messes all over, the Halloween candy gone, or some other form of mayhem that ensues only when it’s that quiet that would cause me to regret sleeping in, but, to my surprise, they were both just sitting in their rooms, watching cartoons and being quiet.  When they saw me up, they both sprang up and declared “Mom, you’re awake!  Mommy’s up! Yay! Mom’s up!”  It was so sweet and I was so happy with them, I couldn’t say no when they asked for a piece of the Halloween candy.  I know, candy before breakfast - sue me.  To my credit though, I did then go make them an awesome breakfast of bacon, eggs, toast, and OJ as requested.  It was a good morning, and the day went just as well.

After breakfast, we all sat down together and played a new video game for a couple hours.  Some may criticize this, but I don’t care.  I love these times with the kids.  They love playing, and love that I can play with them.  I remember being a kid when my grandma used to play Super Mario 3 with us on the NES, it was just the bees-knees.  Or when we could actually convince our technology challenged (and that’s being nice) dad to play the original Mario.  Those memories are so fond to me because my family was participating with me in the things I enjoyed.  Just as fond as the times we all sat around the table playing Yahtzee, or Scrabble or Monopoly, or when we’d all play volleyball, badminton, or tag, or just throw a ball around.  I don’t think that video games really take anything from your kid, and playing with them will make memories just as fond as any not involving a TV and a controller.  So we played, and once we were done, I relinquished my control and let them have run of the XBox for a while.  The deal is no gaming during the weekday (except the learning games on the iPod), so on weekends like this one where we’re hanging out inside, I pretty much let them go to town on the games.  It’s kind of their reward for sticking to the schedule all week, getting all their homework done and on time, being good in and out of class, etc.

While they were playing, I did some more crafting, made caramel-candy apples and prepped the NACHOS for dinner!  I love nachos, and I was looking for an excuse to use my homemade pico, so this was perfect.  Then they took a break for a while for some quiet time in their rooms to play or read, and I cleaned up the kitchen.  When their break was over, we carved another pumpkin, played the game a little longer, and they took their baths.  Once dinner was done, it was time for stories and bed, and I was ready!  I went to bed at the same time they did last night.

All in all, though, it was a really great weekend.  I got a lot of things done that I wanted to do, had fun doing it, and spent some great time with the boys.  Who can ask for more?!

Score One For The Little Guy

Every morning when I drop the little one off at his gram’s, before I’m on my way to work, we have a little goodbye routine.

Once I pull up to the house, I say “OK babe, we’re here.”  He then gets out and walks to the driver’s side door, which I’ve typically already opened in anticipation of my hugs and kisses,  and every morning, before the hugs and kisses, he has to get in a good stretch once he’s out of the car.

This morning, while he was in the middle of his stretch, groaning and yawning with his arms reaching to the sky and wrangled with that mid-stretch-face, I noticed his little belly exposed in the gap between his pants and the bottom of his shirt -  and as anyone knows, an exposed belly is automatic grounds for tickling. So, I did what anyone in that situation would do and seized the opportunity.  He giggled and I laughed, and he looked at me with his “you-better-not-do-it-again-but-I-really-want-you-to-do-it-again-because-I-like-to-be-tickled-even-though-I-will-never-admit-it” face while raising his hands quickly.  Naturally I responded with my “I’m-gonna-get-you-because-I-know-you-love-it-even-though-you-pretend-not-to” face as I moved my hands toward his tummy.  He laughed as he jerked his hands down and shielded his belly with his arms.

Now, I imagine this tickly-interruption of his stretch and yawn must have been somewhat frustrating (even though he was laughing) because he then turned around, walked about ten feet away from me, raised his arms, and brought them back down as quickly as they went up.  Still buckled and obviously outwitted, I sat and waited for him to finish his stretch and walk back to me.

He was grinning from ear to ear on the way back and I automatically thought he was just happy to finish his stretch and hug me.  But as he leaned in to put his arms around me, he looked me in the eye and with a little weave of his neck said, “How you like me now?!”

I couldn’t do anything but laugh and grab him up for my hugs and kisses.

There’s no better way to start the day than with laughter, tickles, hugs, kisses, and giggles.

You Just Do

cluelessfather asked: This is a self-answering question sort of comment like thingy...You know what impresses me more than people who climb Mount Everest?

Single moms with multiple children.

I honestly have no idea how you (and others) do it. But congratulations on raising two terrific looking kids. Although it's great to have a blog (they are the modern day diaries) I highly, highly, highly doubt there will by any need for it to serve as any sort of reminder by the time they reach the age of 15.

I am certain your love and the sacrifices you made for them will be something they never forget, particularly as they get older and have the experience and knowledge to understand the depth of such devotion. 

I never realized it until now, but it feels really damn good to be acknowledged and appreciated, even it happens to be by a stranger. :)  I can only hope that as they grow, they see the same things and that you are absolutely right. Your post really touched my heart.  In fact, I’m actually crying as I type.  (I, like you, tend to be a little on the sensitive side, it seems!)


I guess, like any parent, I don’t really stop to think about what I’m doing or have done to get to where I am until someone brings it to my attention. 

I can honestly say during the course of my life as mommy, I never stopped long enough to think about how we’re going to get from point A to point B, how long it will take, what we’ll need for the process, who may or may not be tagging along, etc.  There is no procedure.   The mentality has to be to just do the best you can with what you have, and get through it.  Take each day as it comes, put the kids before anything (always, always need time for yourself, though), and basically do what you have to do to survive.   

I know people often comment about the trials of being a stay-at-home parent, or a two-parent-to-one-child family, and I sometimes will catch myself thinking try it alone with two, dude.  I won’t lie to you, when I actually stop to think about what it takes, it’s freaking hard.  And the worst part of all of it is the “mommy guilt.”  You know - that feeling that you’re inevitably doing something wrong that is going to screw your kids up for the rest of their lives, like letting them play with the iPod every night for an hour so that you can cook dinner after a 9-hour work day without them chasing each other screaming through the kitchen; or wondering if maybe the little one’s temperament stems from your inability, when he was months old, to hold him during feedings, or letting him “cry it out” because you had to change his two-year old brother’s diaper or get him lunch or keep him out of the dishwasher and away from the cabinets and off the stairs and OH SHIT HE FOUND THE DOGGY DOOR… and… and… ; or for all of those times you yelled or completely lost control.  

I’m sure some of these feelings may be a bit ridiculous, and some may be pretty typical, but I can’t help that they strike every now and then.  Especially when E-V-E-R-Y time I turn around, there is a brilliant new publication by some brilliant new psychologist/therapist/pediatrician/child development specialist with a brilliant new idea on what to do and what not to do and how to be the perfect parent.  I mean, I know the little one’s temperament likely stems from a lot more than just “mommy didn’t hold you” (there is a background with that kid and his conception and entrance into the world that cuts deeper than the birthing scar I bear), and I know the iPod probably isn’t killing any brain cells because the amount of use is pretty regulated, but does that make it stop?  Not even close.  But when it comes down to it, there’s no amount of parenting advice in the universe that can teach someone how to sacrifice their whole lives for that of another – or in my case, those of two others.  Changing your priorities, focus, and direction have to be conscious decisions - and there is no manual or brilliant new idea that can teach that.  

So, when faced with the question, “how do you do it,” the only answer that really comes to mind is  you just do.   And I guess at the end of the day, when the house is quiet and I’m alone with only my thoughts, and the questions and guilt and exhaustion start knocking at the door – that’s really the only thing that keeps me going.  

You. Just. Do.

 

Surprise Visit

Caden’s dad came over for a surprise visit this weekend.  While the two of them were on the phone for their nightly call, there was a knock at the door.  Caden had absolutely no clue it could possibly be HIS dad.  Imagine his surprise when that’s exactly who walked through the door!  Actually, you don’t have to imagine it, because I took pictures!  Yay!  

"Hold on dad, someone is at the door."

"Hey wait, who -- wait, is that..."

"It's MY DAD!!"

"Dad, you're on the phone AND here!"

"You tricked me dad! I missed you!!"

(Let’s not pay attention to the picture quality though - I obviously shouldn’t quit my day job to become a sports/action photographer any time soon.  It’s the moment that counts, people!) 

Hold Your Own

Hold your own, know your name, and go your own way. And everything will be fine.


This song embodies everything I want to say, or would want to say, to anyone I know, or even anyone that I don’t, that is struggling, doubting, confused, and feeling insecure or hopeless.

Someday, my babies are going to venture away, and I’ll no longer be able to protect them from all the sadness and pain that life will throw at them.  And when the time comes that they have to learn all of the difficult lessons in store, and they feel the hopelessness begin to creep in (because it always finds a way), this is the message I hope to send.

Mommy Strategy

When trying to get my kids to follow directions, there are times when being “mom” just isn’t enough.  Times when “do your homework,” “pick up your room,” and “settle down” all result in the same variation of the basic whiny question of “why,” and the response “because I said so” evokes a sheer look of confusion from them and causes me to flirt with the idea that maybe I speak Japanese and they’re the only ones aware of it.

However, I think I may have found an answer.

I’ve found, during these times, if I add “family” as an adjective any time I want something done collectively, my kids have no idea they’re doing something they don’t want to do.  It’s genius, really.

Examples:  Family Clean Up Day, Family Quiet Time, Family Movie Night, Family Game Time (have to throw in a few fun ones to throw them off the trail), Family Homework Time, Family Dinner Time, etc.

It has totally worked so far, and it’s even been great for everyone on the quality time scale.  When I’m involved and participating in whatever I’ve asked them to do, they’re less likely to whine about not wanting to do it. Then they are happy and mommy isn’t having visions of locking anyone in closets!  Yay!

WARNING:  This is where I point out that I mostly have no clue what I’m talking about outside of my own experience, but this little strategy seems to work for me and my monsters, so it’s possible it’ll work for others.  Also, do not use this strategy to get your kids to do things such as bathe or pee in the potty.  Family Bathing Time and Family Toilet Time are just NOT OK.