He Was A Confused Child

"Cheese!!  Like my new helmet mom?"

Um, Trysten, we need to talk.

Dramatic Much?

Me:  OK Caden, time to do your spelling words.

CJ:  How many times do I have to write them this time?

Me:  Three.

CJ:  Ugh... Man that teacher really wants my hand broken, doesn't she?

Where's Me Rum?

Me:  Hey, do you guys know what today is?!

CJ:  Friday?

TJ:  Talk like an official pirate day?!

Me:  Um, Friday - yes. Pirate day - what the...? You've been hangin' with gramma too much.

TJ:   Arrrgh.

Score One For The Little Guy

Every morning when I drop the little one off at his gram’s, before I’m on my way to work, we have a little goodbye routine.

Once I pull up to the house, I say “OK babe, we’re here.”  He then gets out and walks to the driver’s side door, which I’ve typically already opened in anticipation of my hugs and kisses,  and every morning, before the hugs and kisses, he has to get in a good stretch once he’s out of the car.

This morning, while he was in the middle of his stretch, groaning and yawning with his arms reaching to the sky and wrangled with that mid-stretch-face, I noticed his little belly exposed in the gap between his pants and the bottom of his shirt -  and as anyone knows, an exposed belly is automatic grounds for tickling. So, I did what anyone in that situation would do and seized the opportunity.  He giggled and I laughed, and he looked at me with his “you-better-not-do-it-again-but-I-really-want-you-to-do-it-again-because-I-like-to-be-tickled-even-though-I-will-never-admit-it” face while raising his hands quickly.  Naturally I responded with my “I’m-gonna-get-you-because-I-know-you-love-it-even-though-you-pretend-not-to” face as I moved my hands toward his tummy.  He laughed as he jerked his hands down and shielded his belly with his arms.

Now, I imagine this tickly-interruption of his stretch and yawn must have been somewhat frustrating (even though he was laughing) because he then turned around, walked about ten feet away from me, raised his arms, and brought them back down as quickly as they went up.  Still buckled and obviously outwitted, I sat and waited for him to finish his stretch and walk back to me.

He was grinning from ear to ear on the way back and I automatically thought he was just happy to finish his stretch and hug me.  But as he leaned in to put his arms around me, he looked me in the eye and with a little weave of his neck said, “How you like me now?!”

I couldn’t do anything but laugh and grab him up for my hugs and kisses.

There’s no better way to start the day than with laughter, tickles, hugs, kisses, and giggles.

A Little Louder Please

TJ:  (playing and talking to the GB in his room)  Bowser, don’t go!  I won’t let you do it Bowser!  It’s too dangerous out there.
TJ:  Bowser, it’s me Mario!  I’ll save you!
CJ:  (from the other room finishing up his homework)  Trysten, Bowser can’t hear you.
(silence…)
TJ:  (yells) BOWSER DON’T GO! I WON’T LET YOU DO IT!!!  IT’S TOO DANGEROUS OUT THERE!!

Pinky & The Brain - Pumpkin Style

 

Right Pumpkin:  Uh, What are we gonna do today, Pinky?
Left Pumpkin:  Same thing we do every day Brain, try to TAKE OVER THE WORLD!

Revenge of the Lasagna Zombie

Hey mom, great lasagna!  Love you!

Hey Caden!  Love you too!

Oh no!  Caden, look out!

It's a flesh-eating Zombie Trysten!

Pumpkin Alter Egos

They may look sweet and innocent, but the truth is hiding in the background!

Shame On You, Mommy

So, I got this mole on my lower calf removed about a week ago.  In order to remove the mole, they had to remove a chunk of flesh about the size, shape, and thickness of a nickel.  So now where the mole used to be, there is just an ugly, flesh-exposed hole in my leg.  And I have to be honest - it looks real gross.  I usually keep it covered, but last night I had treated it and wanted to let it air out a bit.

So last night at story time, Caden was laying in my bed as we were wrapping up the last of his book.  When I told him the story was over and it was time for bed, he did what he usually does and pretended he was asleep.  I always know he isn’t and that it’s just his attempt to play with me, but I was already tired and feeling cranky, so I really wasn’t in the mood.  I told him again it was bed time, and tried to keep patient, but it seems the bed time command is always inevitably followed up with whining.

CJ:  Awwww man.  Can’t I just sleep in your bed mom?
Me: No Caden, you have your own bed, dude.  We each have our own beds so that we can sleep in them.
CJ:  But mom, I just want to sleep in your bed and cuddle with you.

Now, while this sentiment is pretty sweet, and there have definitely been nights where this exact same conversation has taken place and I have caved without much hesitation at all, I have undoubtedly learned my lesson.  First of all, if you cave and let one kid sleep with you, the other kid’s sleepy-sense starts tingling and within five minutes he will show up in your room at your bedside, poking your shoulder to see if you’re awake and ask if he can get in the bed, too.  And if you let one kid in the bed, you have to let the other in.  Secondly, if you cave, they will remember it and exploit your weakness e-v-e-r-y chance they get.  And unless you enjoy some good, old fashioned, tag team style jabs-to-the-ribs and a few forearms-to-the-face while you are sleeping, you will seriously reconsider allowing this to happen.

With that in mind, there was no way the kid was sleeping with me, but I still knew that the next five minutes would consist of him working every angle he knew how, and me shooting him down like a WWII kamikaze pilot.  None of which I was looking forward to or really in the mood to deal with at all.  So when he noticed the “thing” on my leg and started asking questions, I knew the universe had recognized my frustration and my moment had arrived.

CJ:  What’s that thing, mom?
Me:  It’s my owie.
CJ:  Oh man!  That’s DISGUSTING!
Me:  Yep, and if you don’t get out of my bed, I’m going to put it on you.

His face went immediately from curiosity, to complete disgust, to sheer horror at the thought of having this thing touching him, and I just sat for a moment and delighted at my own evil genius.  Then, when I could tell he wasn’t quite sure if I was serious or not, I raised my leg and began inching it further in his direction, taunting him in a sing-songy fashion like here I cooome… I’m gonna put it on youuuu…

I don’t think I’ve seen him bolt out of my bed so quickly before, e-v-e-r .  And as if that wasn’t enough, just for my own complete enjoyment of the situation, I followed him all the way out of the room taunting him every time he turned around to see if he could relax.  I’m telling you, the kid was out of there with the quickness.

I’m fairly sure I can say that I’ve never been so ashamed and so proud of myself all at the same time.  It was seriously awesome.

Mommy - 1, Caden - 0

Out Of Luck

CJ:  Say I'm luckier than you!

TJ:  Never!!

CJ:  Say it or I won't let you up!

TJ:  I'll never say it!

CJ:  Say I'm luckier than you or I'm staying on top of you!

TJ:  I'm luckier than you.

CJ:  No, say I'M luckier than YOU.

TJ:  I'M luckier than YOU.

CJ:  No that's not what I mean Trysten. Say "you're luckier than me."

TJ:  I'm luckier than you.

CJ:  Hey, that's not what I mean! Say "you're luckier than me, Caden."

TJ:  I'm luckier than you, Caden.

CJ:  No fair Trysten! Mom, Trysten won't say I'm luckier than him!

TJ:  Caden, you'll never be luckier than me.

Monster Magoo

CJ:   Mommy, I can’t find my other shoe!
Me:  (in the middle of brushing my teeth)
CJ:   MOMMY!!!!  I can’t FIND my other SHOE!
Me:  Did you look in the closet with your other shoes?
CJ:  Yeah.  It isn’t there.
Me:  Honey are you sure? It’s probably in the closet.
CJ:  It’s NOT mom - I ALREADY looked.  Unnngh… I can’t find it ANYWHERE!



Really kid?!  REALLY?!?!

Next time I’ll be sure to ask him if he looked with his eyes OPEN.