Goodnight, Sleep Tight, Don't Let The Bed Bugs Bite

Ever since I started watching Hoarders, that saying has taken on a whole new meaning. Not because I’m a hoarder, but because those bed bugs are some serious shit. I always kind of thought they were just made up, like the “you owe me a coke” part of “pinch poke.” I never actually expected a coke. So this whole bed-bugs-are-real-and-really-bite thing kind of makes me feel a little paranoid. Now when I say “goodnight, sleep tight” and the boys reply “don’t let the bed bugs bite,” I kind of feel like washing all the bedding & throwing random things away. Just in case.

Tadpole's Promise

The other night my son brought home a library book called Tadpole's Promise by Jeanne Willis.
I was kind of excited to read this story at first, thinking it was about a romantic young love, portraying how even those that are the most different can find love in unusual circumstances.  A love that will blossom if given enough time and faith, etc.  Even though I give off somewhat of a cynical vibe at times, I really am a total optimist at heart, and a complete sucker for romance.  So, you can imagine my disappointment when that is not at all how this story ends (story transcribed in italics below for anyone that hasn't read it and may be intrigued).

I'm not really sure how to feel about this story, or, in particular, the ending. And to make matters worse, it is quickly becoming one of CJ's favorite stories. Part of me thinks "well, it's pretty realistic, right?" and another part of me can't let go of what a disappointment it is.  I mean, I can understand reading a book as an adult full of reality and not so happy endings.  I totally get that.  But in a kids book?  Aren't they supposed to be full of happy endings and messages of hope in all circumstances in an effort to preserve their innocence and the vast amount of possibilities, hopes, and dreams still contained within their hearts and minds?  Aren't we supposed to still be sending the message 'anything is possible if you put your heart and mind to it' at this stage? 

I don't know.  I'm lost on this one.  Maybe I'm not really interpreting the metaphor correctly?  I thought about it from the standpoint of a woman, or anyone really, in a relationship that has been lied to and/or abused.  The woman being the caterpillar, and the man being the tadpole.  They start out young, full of hope and promise.  But inevitably, he changes in ways that may or may not be beyond his control.  There is always the promise that things will be better, things will be different, or things will go back to the way they were.  But more often than not, it never turns out that way.  The one that has been betrayed goes away, blossoms to become a beautiful butterfly, but still can't seem to let go of the relationship and the hope that it can be what she dreams it to be.  So she goes back, and is consumed by the relationship to the point where she no longer even exists as what she once was or as the butterfly she became - and the one in the relationship doing so much damage remains completely oblivious to their destruction and wonders where it all went wrong and where the girl he fell in love with went.

 It's the only explanation that seems understandable, or even relateable to me (can you tell I have some issues), but I still don't understand the ever daunting question:  Why a kid's book?  As in, let's take away hope, replace it with the harsh realities of the world in an effort to protect against broken hearts?  What is the point of having a heart if it's too hard to break anyway? Seems to be kind of a paradox to the age old saying "Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all."

Reading too far into it?  Looney tunes?  I won't blame you if you say yes.  Just curious as to what others have to say about it, and looking for a little insight other than my own.

(It's a fairly short story, so if you are intrigued, the story follows below).

"Where the willow meets the water, a tadpole met a caterpillar. They gazed into each other's tiny eyes... and fell in love. She was his beautiful rainbow, and he was her shiny black pearl. 
'I love everything about you,' said the tadpole.
'I love everything about you,' said the caterpillar. 'Promise you'll never change.'
'I promise,' he said.
But as sure as the weather changes, the tadpole could not keep his promise.  Next time they met, he had grown two legs.
'You've broken your promise,' said the caterpillar.
'Forgive me,' begged the tadpole.  'I couldn't help it.  I don't want these legs... All I want is my beautiful rainbow.'
'All I want is my shiny black pearl.  Promise me you'll never change,' said the caterpillar.
'I promise,' he said.
But sure as the seasons change, the next time they met, he had grown arms.
'That's twice you've broken your promise,' cried the caterpillar.
'Forgive me,' begged the tadpole. 'I could not help it.  I do not want these arms... All I want is my beautiful rainbow.'
'And all I want is my shiny black pearl.  I will give you one last chance,' said the caterpillar.
But as sure as the world changes, the tadpole could not keep his promise.  The next time they met, he had no tail.
'You have broken your promise three times, and now you have broken my heart,' said the caterpillar.
'But you are my beautiful rainbow,' said the tadpole.
'Yes, but you are not my shiny black pearl.  Good-bye.'  She crawled up the willow branch and cried herself to sleep.
One warm moonlit night, she woke up.  The sky had changed.  The trees had changed.  Everything had changed... except for her love for the tadpole.  Even though he'd broken his promise, she decided to forgive him.
She dried her wings and fluttered down to look for him.  Where the willow meets the water, a frog was sitting on a lily pad.
'Excuse me,' she said. 'Have you seen my shiny black...'
But faster than she could say 'pearl,' the frog leapt up and swallowed her in one great gulp.
And there he waits...
thinking fondly of his beautiful rainbow...
... wondering where she went." - Jeanne Willis

What do you think?

Because It Matters To Me

littlegoldfishes:

Because six gay dudes killed themselves. Don’t get me wrong, it’s very sad and should not have happened, but it kind of ignores everyone else who got bullied into suicide. Why not have a day to remember all victims of suicide?

I just don’t buy into the sudden development of a bleeding heart because there was a couple of high profile cases. Seems kind of tacky and false to me.

I have to say that I agree with you here to some extent.  But I think this is less about society’s sudden development of a bleeding heart, and more about society saying “Enough is Enough.”

I understand that this “wear purple” thing stemmed from the abuse, bullying, and eventual suicides of kids that were, or even just appeared to be, homosexual.  However, I have to say, and I don’t speak for anyone else, that I wear purple today not JUST exclusively for these kids, but for any kid out there that may be different and subject to the same bullying and harassment as the six that have gained so much public attention.  I don’t believe that the media attention that this issue is getting has anything to do with media as a whole giving a crap about anything other than the next big story, or the thing that is going to get the most attention (working around the media, I know that there is always an agenda).  However, no one can deny that media issues often become “media issues” or “the next big story” because enough people felt strongly enough to make a big deal out of something.  And this is a big deal.  Kids killing themselves because other kids at school are verbally harassing them and/or physically abusing them for being different, in any way and not just limited to homosexuality, is a big deal.  Kids terrorizing their own schools and killing other kids because they’ve been harassed and bullied to their breaking point is a big deal. And it has to stop.

It breaks my heart to think about these little kids, who are still just babies, being made to feel that their lives are not worth living, or that it’s just too hard to go alone - whether gay or straight.  And honestly, for me, it’s not even limited to just raising awareness or coming together on a united front.

It’s for the kid, right now, that is thinking that no one cares or that it’s not OK to be who they are and enjoy the things they do.  Right now, as I type this, there is some kid somewhere that is thinking about giving up and about how to kill themselves.  Thinking that it won’t ever get better, and that where they are is where they’ll always be, or that getting out is too far away.  So why not, on the chance that they might see it, offer any of these kids a little visual reassurance that we hear them?  That we are with them and that we get it?

I’m not saying that everyone who cares should wear purple today, or that by wearing purple this will suddenly stop.  Everyone should take a stand in their own way, and if purple isn’t yours, there isn’t anything wrong with that.  But to label the whole thing as tacky and false, serves a hell of a lot less purpose than some dude or chick with purple on.

My purple today is my way of saying I hear you.  I understand and I will not participate in the bullying and hate, and my kids will not grow up learning to hate those that are different.  And maybe no one will see it or even notice.  But the point is I’m here.  I’m listening.  I see you.  And I am with you. And so is everyone else that you see wearing their purple proudly, and even some that aren’t.

Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about the things that matter. - MLK Jr.

And so do theirs, because this matters.